Ramadan 2019: Day 2

Today I finished my paper and read some the interesting ethnography on Cambodian American communities. I had visited Cambodia and I had heard about the community nearby in Lowell, MA, yet I know nothing of these fellow "Asian Americans." I have a new understanding of the importance of writing on second-generation and third-generation immigrant experiences. Perhaps due to the fact that many people view my identity through a cookie-cutter lens, I used to view generational differences in much starker terms.


Ramy's show Ramy is also part of this process: although generations view their lives, pleasures and difficulties through different lenses, one can still synthesize the two "worlds" with an open heart and imagination. Like Ramy, I have also found it challenging in social situations and rarely said outright that I did not drink, even though I had already stopped.

Still from Ramy, with his parents

I also really appreciated the differently abled role of Steve and how he interacted with knowing passive aggressiveness, which reminded me of how some of my Asian American guy friends talk with me as well. Some people seem to have had problems with how much the females in the show are interacting with their sexual identities; for me, it is relatable to see people to explore their desires, even if most people viewed them as "undersexed." (Steve included.)

It also takes a lot of courage to commit to creative work, such as ethnography or a show like Ramy. Walid said before, in an endearing way: I like saying that you are Chinese, because anyone can become "American," but not everyone can be "Chinese."
Between writing my paper, I also heard some of the good news from Liverpool. I did not expect that my team would win, let alone by such a huge margin. I joked later that Mohamed Salah did not even have to appear on the field for Liverpool to win.

Walid told me that Salah wore a T-shirt that said "Never Give Up." I had already given up!

The clouds gathered as I waited for the bus; I gave up and walked instead. The rain started just before my Zumba class.
Our instructor Karen told us about her upcoming marriage and possible change in schedules. I felt surprised and happy for her. Today's class was longer and we were all sweaty by the end. She told us that to feel certain songs, which is totally different with how I approached most media as a historian. Towards the end, I really felt one of the beats and pulled it off.

Walid and I met at 9pm, Downtown Crossing, while I was reading about Donald Glover's baby momma and how it created some controversy. Walid and I embraced very longingly. When I complained that I was thirsty, he showed the banana he brought me and told me about his Somali iftar at his new neighborhood mosque.

Walid's dinner

He was served by other men and had eaten everything with his hands like a good sport. Prior to dinner, he compared the prices of food at the neighborhood supermarkets and found them to be not much cheaper than prices in New York. I also complained that at least NY places give one a sense that they are family businesses, whereas the chain stores of Boston do not bring down the prices as much as one would expect.

While we were waiting for the T, a queerly dressed man, cowboy hat in tow, started passing comments to everyone he saw. He said to us, "You two should get married!" We replied as he walked by, "we're already married!" which made him feel slightly sheepish. Walid was very happy that even strangers could see how much in love we were.

Walid also called many of his relatives today. He passed on the greetings of his cousin, who studied as a pharmacist and said "say hello to your beautiful wife." <3 We returned home and watched the lo-fi version of Patriot Act on the mattress "scam" and discussed which mattress we should buy next.

Finally, a funny desi joke my friend Aaron sent to me!

On Constructing the National Myth

I am familiar with the historical narratives of grand nations such as China and Spain. Both have easy themes to follow for the middle school history textbook writers, such as Spain's imperial conquest and China's recovery from Western powers' invasions. Does modern Spain try to downplay the Islamic part of their history Al-Andalus (711-1492)? It would not be difficult because Communist China successfully downplays other parts of its modern history deftly. The Tiananmen Square can still serve as symbolic, political space for modern China, because that is where Mao declared the establishment of the PRC. What happened on 1989 at the same location is just a wrinkle that can be overlooked, again and again. But not all countries have the convenience of 5000 years of culture and narrative capital. 
I have yet to read the textbooks of nations in decline, such as those of Cambodia's. I have written a historical sketch on the methods used for analyzing Pre-Angkor Cambodia in the book. In subsequent chapters, the author John Tully delves into the meat of colonialism, or I expected him to. I have heard many anti-colonial stories about the power of the colonizers, yet the French efforts seemed surprisingly clumsy. Tully shows that the French never really got their way in Cambodia for the sake of Vietnam to the extent that the British Empire meddled with Burma politics for the sake of India. Tully list an endless story of occupations and incursions of Vietnam, Siam, and eventually the French, three aggressors which are never independent of the others' influence. For example, one could argue that Vietnam saved Khmer culture by eliminating Muslim Cham domination and balancing Siam aggression 17th-18th century. Then Vietnam domestic insurgencies stalled all-out French domination of Cambodia in the 19th century.
Crafting and selling a Cambodian nationalism narrative would give anyone a headache. It is much easier for the state historian to white-wash the errors of the current dynasty/regime than to  make a coherent narrative from alternating foreign occupations and prolonged decentralization. Angkor Wat is one of the sites that struggles to fit into modern Cambodia's narrative. My friend and I had a brief disagreement about the lack of commercial billboards in the tourist region. She thought that the scenic area is perfect without billboards, while I thought that the Cambodian government could generate more revenue if they created more billboards surrounding Angkor Wat. Overall, I had the impression that the government could put more effort in preserving the area instead of relying on other countries' archaeological teams such as India, Japan, and China. Today, when reading The Short History of Cambodia, I realized that the Cambodian government may be purposefully sidelining Angkor Wat because the past-glory haunted modern Cambodia. Acknowledging the the Angkor Empire, then Southeast Asia's largest, would subsequently lead to the depressing downfalls and decline of Khmer culture. More research should be done before drawing conclusion between Cambodia's current state ideology and policy of neglect (given that there is one).
Yet perhaps Cambodia does not need an all-inclusive national myth. My college religious studies professor Oona Eisenstadt argued strongly against the Meta-narrative and influenced my view of history. The necessity for a neat conclusion from fairy tales to History erases the Other and possibly leads to violence. Christianity's Providence and Marxism's Revolution both erase the Other. Oona gave an intriguing speech on this matter by analyzing the Hunger Games with incisive opinions. German-Jewish thinker Walter Benjamin wrote about his ambivalence regarding revolution and a linear path towards "progress" in On the Concept of History. Subaltern historians similarly critiques nationalist narratives of India that oversimplifies. I have always sough to complicate the metanarrative: I pay attention to regional movements in China, such as the rising prominence of Uyghur identity and Shanghai identity, to name a few.
One friend challenged this critique on philosophical grounds: one essentialism (arguments for the particular) overtakes another essentialism (i.e. Orientalism or nationalism). He is not as optimistic of historiography as I am. I believe in the power of retelling the story from different perspectives and the impact it can have on future generations. Perhaps Cambodia can and has been exploring new ways of narrating the country's history without a linear one, which indicates doom and gloom since Angkor Wat.