Day 19 Friday
Walid visited me but we did not arrive at the same understanding. I lost my temper and said "STFU." He left my place in anger.
In the afternoon, he asked after my wellbeing. I still was not ready for reconciliation, especially given his adamant refusal to clean some areas of his living space. I went to my university and cleared some of my class materials. I met Michael and he complained about his visa application for Russia. A lot of his frustration seemed to stem from his idea that all plans are connected; in my experience, I learned that "real life" hardships imposed by others did not necessarily hinder my scholarly achievements. But perhaps Micheal will only find that part out through his own experience.
Similarly, academic support is only one aspect of success. Academic book acknowledgments sometimes over-do the whole "naming those who have supported me;" it is important to remember that even people who have little or no support from other scholars have also written stellar scholarship. Perhaps a page in a book called "those who have trolled or backstabbed me" would be an even more indicative sign of academic tenacity.
In the evening, I shared some of the electoral successes from Dalit politicians in India on faceb00k, as well as a nice Nipsey Hussle song. The post-production happened after his untimely death.
Day 20 Saturday
I finished Zumba--the first time I went to exercise in the morning, probably since I left India. I felt lightheaded afterward. On my way back, I still had to fight with Walid over when he will clean his living space. He finally conceded to clean it. He also visited me in the evening.
In between our fight, I also snapped and retweeted the following uplifting message:
N, a colleague from my university, visited the big mosque with her friend and recognized Walid from my snaps. Walid joked that he became famous because of me. I was not happy with the new prospects that might involve too much of his energy, but I have gradually realized that his new opportunities are good for both of us.
Day 21 Sunday
I called Chiansan in the morning and discussed my concern with my role in America's society. He discussed how to view the legal profession in America anthropologically, which I found to be useful. He also told me about his discussions about property ownership with his colleagues. He found the statement "Rent is theft" not radical enough, since, in his opinion, all property is organized around the right to use violence to defend it. I was encouraged by him to attend a vigil for ICE detainees and started to make signs for both Walid and me.
Walid and I met up at Downtown Crossing. We arrived at Andrew station and walked to the crowd that led the others to protest against ICE detention. During our walk to the site where we could see the non-adult detainees, we talked to a peace activist, Glenda, who asked which church did we belong. I fumbled over the words and finally settled on something like "Muslim organization." I did not find an equivalent vocabulary for "ummah" in English at the time. She then tried to make a freedom song with the Arabic word for freedom, "hurriya," which was nice. When we arrived at the place where we could see the detainees, we made eye contact with them as well as some friendly, non-verbal gestures. We chanted some slogans and posed for some photos. I realized that I had met one of the participants, Zeba, at a previous Taha Collective event.
After the protest ended, Omar, Zeba, Walid and I visited a homeless shelter, probably one of the biggest in Boston. Walid and I had passed by this place on the way; it smelled like piss but many people seemed to like hanging out there. Such presence would have otherwise been seen as loitering by private police, such as mall security. I felt uneasy because, like Foucault said, many modern institutions resemble a prison. We were chaperoned by public health officials, who guarded us with silent amusement. Omar did his best to befriend the guards and maintained social distance from the homeless.
Upon leaving, we met Majid. He exclaimed that the timing was wrong. Omar said it is good that you showed up. We went back to the parking lot and took more pictures. Then we parted ways. Zeba was kind enough to drop us off at the South end Whole Foods. We browsed the large selection of fancy things and I ate sample cheese. Other people soon followed my footsteps in eating the samples. When we exited the store, we realized that we had also fought near this site. Yet this day we were in high spirits.
-------
6pm, Walid, Michael and I were on the same green line train headed for Riverside. Our classmate S invited us to dinner at her suburban home. Despite the quiet look, she shared with us some harrowing stories of being surveilled and disturbed by unknown people. After some conversation in the living room, Walid broke his fast with tea and dates in the kitchen. We started watching S prepare dinner in the backyard.
S did not know I was pescatarian so I ended up eating some unwanted meat. Over dinner, Michael bemoaned the state of affairs of the American public, to which I usually found to be elitist. He also said that South Koreans would not grow as tall as they do now if they did not have milk introduced by the American people. I found such imperialist statements nauseating. Otherwise, the night was lovely and we chatted up till 11pm.
Both Walid and Michael appreciated her energetic dog. We had an interesting conversation on women's virtues and dress codes. Michael and S discussed the lack of funding in our department. He tried to dismiss my participation against ICE protests as "activism" that would interfere with "scholarship," a binary that only those with white privilege invoked to discredit others whose life is at risk for not speaking in defense. ("Your silence will not protect you." - Audre Lorde)
Michael also wanted to make a point about Buddhism and its reliance on "magic," which I found to be very self-centered. (His "rational" "secularism" could not explain "magic," and therefore something had to be categorized as "Buddhism" vis-a-vis "magic.") I tried to argue another point, but he found it irrelevant to his concern. After we left, Michael attempted to share impressions about S, to which I found to be a tiring and distrustful exercise. I tried my best to divert such conversations since some infighting between S and others had already occurred prior to Michael's arrival. Yet he somehow wanted to be "in," without even knowing what it means. Walid and I parted with Michael at Park St.
Walid visited me but we did not arrive at the same understanding. I lost my temper and said "STFU." He left my place in anger.
In the afternoon, he asked after my wellbeing. I still was not ready for reconciliation, especially given his adamant refusal to clean some areas of his living space. I went to my university and cleared some of my class materials. I met Michael and he complained about his visa application for Russia. A lot of his frustration seemed to stem from his idea that all plans are connected; in my experience, I learned that "real life" hardships imposed by others did not necessarily hinder my scholarly achievements. But perhaps Micheal will only find that part out through his own experience.
Similarly, academic support is only one aspect of success. Academic book acknowledgments sometimes over-do the whole "naming those who have supported me;" it is important to remember that even people who have little or no support from other scholars have also written stellar scholarship. Perhaps a page in a book called "those who have trolled or backstabbed me" would be an even more indicative sign of academic tenacity.
In the evening, I shared some of the electoral successes from Dalit politicians in India on faceb00k, as well as a nice Nipsey Hussle song. The post-production happened after his untimely death.
Day 20 Saturday
I finished Zumba--the first time I went to exercise in the morning, probably since I left India. I felt lightheaded afterward. On my way back, I still had to fight with Walid over when he will clean his living space. He finally conceded to clean it. He also visited me in the evening.
In between our fight, I also snapped and retweeted the following uplifting message:
Today, May 25th, marks 19 years since the Israeli Defense forces withdrew from Lebanese land after 15 years of terrorising it, marking the end of the South Lebanon conflict (1985-2000), when South Lebanon was finally liberated. Happy Liberation Day!
N, a colleague from my university, visited the big mosque with her friend and recognized Walid from my snaps. Walid joked that he became famous because of me. I was not happy with the new prospects that might involve too much of his energy, but I have gradually realized that his new opportunities are good for both of us.
Day 21 Sunday
 |
Our signs
|
Walid and I met up at Downtown Crossing. We arrived at Andrew station and walked to the crowd that led the others to protest against ICE detention. During our walk to the site where we could see the non-adult detainees, we talked to a peace activist, Glenda, who asked which church did we belong. I fumbled over the words and finally settled on something like "Muslim organization." I did not find an equivalent vocabulary for "ummah" in English at the time. She then tried to make a freedom song with the Arabic word for freedom, "hurriya," which was nice. When we arrived at the place where we could see the detainees, we made eye contact with them as well as some friendly, non-verbal gestures. We chanted some slogans and posed for some photos. I realized that I had met one of the participants, Zeba, at a previous Taha Collective event.
After the protest ended, Omar, Zeba, Walid and I visited a homeless shelter, probably one of the biggest in Boston. Walid and I had passed by this place on the way; it smelled like piss but many people seemed to like hanging out there. Such presence would have otherwise been seen as loitering by private police, such as mall security. I felt uneasy because, like Foucault said, many modern institutions resemble a prison. We were chaperoned by public health officials, who guarded us with silent amusement. Omar did his best to befriend the guards and maintained social distance from the homeless.
Upon leaving, we met Majid. He exclaimed that the timing was wrong. Omar said it is good that you showed up. We went back to the parking lot and took more pictures. Then we parted ways. Zeba was kind enough to drop us off at the South end Whole Foods. We browsed the large selection of fancy things and I ate sample cheese. Other people soon followed my footsteps in eating the samples. When we exited the store, we realized that we had also fought near this site. Yet this day we were in high spirits.
-------
6pm, Walid, Michael and I were on the same green line train headed for Riverside. Our classmate S invited us to dinner at her suburban home. Despite the quiet look, she shared with us some harrowing stories of being surveilled and disturbed by unknown people. After some conversation in the living room, Walid broke his fast with tea and dates in the kitchen. We started watching S prepare dinner in the backyard.
S did not know I was pescatarian so I ended up eating some unwanted meat. Over dinner, Michael bemoaned the state of affairs of the American public, to which I usually found to be elitist. He also said that South Koreans would not grow as tall as they do now if they did not have milk introduced by the American people. I found such imperialist statements nauseating. Otherwise, the night was lovely and we chatted up till 11pm.
Both Walid and Michael appreciated her energetic dog. We had an interesting conversation on women's virtues and dress codes. Michael and S discussed the lack of funding in our department. He tried to dismiss my participation against ICE protests as "activism" that would interfere with "scholarship," a binary that only those with white privilege invoked to discredit others whose life is at risk for not speaking in defense. ("Your silence will not protect you." - Audre Lorde)
Michael also wanted to make a point about Buddhism and its reliance on "magic," which I found to be very self-centered. (His "rational" "secularism" could not explain "magic," and therefore something had to be categorized as "Buddhism" vis-a-vis "magic.") I tried to argue another point, but he found it irrelevant to his concern. After we left, Michael attempted to share impressions about S, to which I found to be a tiring and distrustful exercise. I tried my best to divert such conversations since some infighting between S and others had already occurred prior to Michael's arrival. Yet he somehow wanted to be "in," without even knowing what it means. Walid and I parted with Michael at Park St.
ليست هناك تعليقات:
إرسال تعليق